A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
