My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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