I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
