i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
