Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
