i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
