My room smells like vodka and shame
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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