he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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