First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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