Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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