Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
