you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize