My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize