one might say we're banned from that church
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Randomize
