Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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