You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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