You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
