shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
