All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
This is not my ceiling
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
