You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
