but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
