Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
