When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
