Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
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