Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
