He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
