what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
