dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
