I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
