To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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