is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
