yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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