I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
