She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
