i think my mom watched the whole time
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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