Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
