He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
