apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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