I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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