She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
