would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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