Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
