i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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