is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
