she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
