Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
What a dumb baby whore.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
