If that was your dad, he is hot
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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