it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
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She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
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Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i think i just lost a toe
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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