Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
