so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Randomize
