windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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