She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
