never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My feet surprised me
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