I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
