i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
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He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
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I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize