last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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