So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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