So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
