if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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