I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Shame - the story of my life.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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