I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
