We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
