I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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