he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
